Krishna and I

There are some instances that you just can't forget – no matter how young you were when it happened. I must have been ten and little Sri less that two. My grandmother sat on the floor in her signature posture with one leg folded and the other stretched, as she busily rolled out the little seedai spread and with a watchful eye monitored the frying of the same. Sri was a charming young lad who lived next door. Just so you know back in my time a child of one house was free to enter any house within the neighbourhood and spend carefree hours of play and mischief, and if it was meal-time it was only natural that the child would be fed without a second thought or sanitised diet charts - by anyone who is engaging the child. So as my sister and I sat wide eyed listening to my grandfather – the most charming man one can ever meet - narrate Krishna's mischief, Sri crawled from his house to mine, my grandmother chattered with him and he in his monosyllables responded to her and when she wasn't looking put his curious hands into the freshly made vella seedai and put it in his mouth, "Grandma, look! Sri is eating the prasadam before the offering is made to Krishna… it is wrong, isn't it, neivedyam has to be done right?" I shouted in distress "Vidu, He is my Krishna today, I am sure it is Krishna here in Sri's form and he has come to eat whatever I have made" Said my grandma who always was clad in a nine yard saree, had never broken a religious rule, was accepted in marriage simply because she could chant the sahasranamam… I smiled and helped myself to a few savouries myself and when she gave me the sharp look I said "Why? Am I not Krishna too?" my grandfather laughed and said "Yes! You are! Everyone is Krishna" and there it was my first lesson on the divine. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt9UgG_lLHU

 

Living the tale

It was a dreary evening filled with the torture of routine tasks and all she needed was somone to hand her a warm cup of something nice and ask her about her day... High hopes! Most times, all a woman gets is demands of varying degrees from people who vary in their degree of importance.

But this evening one very important person was making a really important demand that could not be refuted " amma... tell me a story" "just what I need" she thought and hugged little Chinnu and made her sit on the kitchen counter (while strategically mixing her bowl of vegetables and rice hoping she could trick her into eating it with the story)

"Long long ago..." she started as the little one's eyes widened with eager expectation "There was a king who had a very pretty daughter" "why was she pretty amma?" Interrupted Chinnu, "Chinnu... not important. Just listen" said the mother, rather befuddled by the response. "The king loved her very dearly but never allowed her to step out of the palace. The king would only permit her to go out if he were taking her on his royal elephant. The only other way she could see the world outside was through the window of her mother's room" by now the little one was already beginning to dislike the king "One day as she sat looking out of the window, she saw a young boy playing with a small dog... can you believe the princess had never seen a dog all her life? She could see that he was having so much fun - it could be heard." "But..." Chinnu attempted to say something but was silenced by the sharp look she got from her mother as she stuffed her mouth with stuff from the bowl "the princess began to feel jealous of the boy who could play with his friend and all she could do was sit and watch him from the window. So she picked up a few pebbles from one of the plants in the queen's room and started throwing it on the boy and his friend" "oh no! did the dog get angry and bite her?, but how can that happen? She's in the palace and the dog is on the road." Chinnu questioned and answered her questions all in one breath. The mother smiled and continued "No... infact the boy kept saving the dog from being hit by letting the pebbles hit him instead of his pet. Now this confused the princess a lot. Why would anyone do that? Get hurt for someone else that is not important? She then decided to find out..."
"and then Chinnu came flying to the princess in Alladin's magic carpet and took her out of the palace so she could know that it is okay to go out of the palace to find friends like the boy and the dog... and they all lived happily ever after!"

"And there she was living in the story I was telling - living the story I was telling" she thought to herself. "Yes! How did you know?" She asked and Chinnu ran out to play. The mother smiled as she went about the routine ; forgetting that yet another of her stories was interrupted and left incomplete.

My Road To Take

She should have felt joy and excitement instead what she felt was guilt and loathing each time she looked at that road that was always there but never taken. They would incessantly argue about the need to travel and experience solitude as against the comfort of a nourishing home. They would always disagree. For her people were everything, all kinds of people. Meeting new people and forging new friendships gave her energy, kept her abreast with the world but he always preferred the comfort of the known, the luxury of trust, the ease of fewer friends. "One of us has to be practical in this relationship... it is simply not safe to leave everything you know and love simply because you want a new experience" he said "new experiences need not mean abandoning the old sweetheart. I belong here, nothing changes that... but I want to be able to discover what else I can be" she argued. "Why is it never enough? Why is satisfaction with what is here and now never a possibility with you?" He wondered. "I don't know... maybe because I'm inspired by evolution itself" she said. "You don't need my permission... you are free to do as you please" he said and slammed the door behind him. "It's not about permission goddamnit...it's about understanding what matters to me" she yelled. They didn't talk much for a week after the last argument.

She had just returned from work that evening and so had he  "I am starved... what's for dinner?" He enquired "Same as lunch... I'm just back..." she remarked. "Could you make something new? Just for a change in the palate?" He asked. She looked at him, mustered a half smile and said..."Sure!"

And then suddenly the irony dawned upon him. He rushed to the kitchen and hugged her from behind, put his chin on her shoulder and with the gentlest possible tone said... "I am sorry . I understand. Go ahead take that road"