It was three months since I had allowed myself a cup of coffee or any other 'harmful' indulgence. But, it was a rainy Bangalore evening, chill creeping through the bones and I said to myself "what the hell! a single cup won't hurt" I convinced myself. I walked into the quaint old hotel - a reminder of the pensioner's paradise and press meet haven - that Bangalore once was.
A half asleep waiter grudgingly enquired "Heli" "By two coffee - sugar seperate" I responded. I fiddled with my phone and pretended as if I were listening to and cared about every word of my not at all interesting coffee comerade's incessant chatter. Coffee arrived. Sugar seperate too. Until then my mind was filled with ramblings that I couldn't make much of but the moment I took a small amount of sugar in the fine silver spoon and sprinkled sugar granules sparingly into my cuppa... I felt a deep although momentary tug at my heart and a lump in my throat. "He would know exactly how and how much " said an inner voice... "So what? He doesn't care!" said another. He knew when I would be hungry and give me extra helpings of his soup, on such rainy days... he would let me hold the warm cutlery before striking an over the meal conversation. He would look at me when sunlight hit my face and i tossed my hair. He knew how. He knew how much. "So what? You fell in love. He didn't !" Vented the other voice.
A half asleep waiter grudgingly enquired "Heli" "By two coffee - sugar seperate" I responded. I fiddled with my phone and pretended as if I were listening to and cared about every word of my not at all interesting coffee comerade's incessant chatter. Coffee arrived. Sugar seperate too. Until then my mind was filled with ramblings that I couldn't make much of but the moment I took a small amount of sugar in the fine silver spoon and sprinkled sugar granules sparingly into my cuppa... I felt a deep although momentary tug at my heart and a lump in my throat. "He would know exactly how and how much " said an inner voice... "So what? He doesn't care!" said another. He knew when I would be hungry and give me extra helpings of his soup, on such rainy days... he would let me hold the warm cutlery before striking an over the meal conversation. He would look at me when sunlight hit my face and i tossed my hair. He knew how. He knew how much. "So what? You fell in love. He didn't !" Vented the other voice.
It is strange how much of a lifetime can flash before the mind's eye in a matter of seconds. As I stirred the concoction... memories of innumerable such coffees and conversations stirred me. Inspite of myself and all that I had resolved against, the inner voice said... "what the hell! a single call won't hurt" I smiled. Picked up my phone. Dialled his number. Then hurriedly cut the call before it rang. "He left because he knew how" I heaved a sigh. Thanked heavens for having gotten over it. Paid for my unsipped coffee and LEFT.
